sometimes i crave myself?.. and is this wrong?.. the things i ponder about in life|

enlightenment.

since we'v last conversed, iv finshed"The Calling", since it was only like 189 pages and at this moment im not too far from finishing numero 8 of the SWEEP series, "Changeleing". theses past 2 books seem to be dragging on a bit.  and as always, Morgan, the main character frustrates me with her shy and nervous personality. her and i could never be friends. she too... wimpy.. i hope she doesn't read this :/ but shes really struggling with who she really is because she just found out her real father was a pure evil and world wide feared witch, but her mom was one of the most powerful pure good witches. shes torn between what her true destiny is. i have sympathy for Morgan. i totally feel her frustration. there always 2 decisions to each choice, and sometimes the lines are blurry which ones right and which is wrong.. or neither could be good nor bad. and being a senior in high school, looking for the right path to take for my education, the colleges, scholarships, the MONEY :/ And every other daily choice i make.. i can be so torn. but in Morgan;s perspective.. my problems dont compare. her decisions are life and death threatening! but the book can be pretty predictable.. i can almost guarantee she'll dance with evil at some big climax.. but then just when you think shes gone.. SHE CHOOSES THE LIGHT! typical book ending really... but if she did end up chosing evil, not only would i be shocked, but a tad upset. especially if that how the whole series end. but.... i doubt that'll happen.

ALSOOOO, i am enrolled in a college English 101; comp and rhetoric class, and i just finished a ...paper? called "Upon This Rock" --John Jeremiah Sullivan. its a 25 pages "paper" about how he attended a 3 day christian rock festival, not being a christian himself tho, but once in his life he was a believer. he gets reallly into the idea of religion and the "type" of people religious people are. also his struggles with religion. how he loves God but cant consider himself a believer. its actually really interesting, even tho it was required reading. i am christian, therefore i found his opinion a little depressing. iv always been around believers and hearing someone who once was and is struggling is.. different. iv never really gotten into a too deep or real conversation with an atheist. for one, its really upsetting to me especially if a close friend of mine, or if i do get in a argument with someone, like my old biology teacher, who was all OHHH DARWINNN... that just throwing facts in each other face. not really a conversation. SO hearing this guys inner thoughts and past experiences and his reasoning was worth reading.

ahhh.. feels good to just word vomit ((:

IF YOU WISH TO READ John Jeremiah Sullivan REPORT, JUST COMMENT AND ILL GLADLY EMAIL IT TO YOU.. ITS HARD TO FIND ONLINE

CURRENTLY*8_26

halfway through the week i changed books. sooooo
week 1: 90 pages in " Just One Look"            154 pages in "The Calling" from the SWEEP series


1. Hunter reached out and took my hand,and i tried to give him strength. "I've done what i can," he said. "Now i just have to wait-- and hope."
-- "The Calling"
* i love this quote because it show vulnerability of one of the main characters, Hunter. even though Morgan and Hunter have such conflict, times like these they are so close and comfortable with each other. to me it shows how deep down inside, they care for each other so much.

sKratch that!

MY BOOKS CAME IN!! so now i no longer have to ponder over what shall happen to Morgan Rowlands. so that other book will be put on hold for a while.. or maybe ill be in the mood to devour its pages! who knows.. but i much rather like having the choice to choose than not having them at all.

ALSO remember when i thought i was going nuts cause i couldnt find the 3rd volume of the series... well thats because i found out today that IT DOSNT EXIST! whoops(:

hey mr hill.. cough cough

today iv read a total of 73 pages.. and im not even done for the day!  this is because when i came in due to rain (refer to post below), i didnt wanna wait to blog((: and i guarantee that my reading will continue...whenever i decide to get off the computer..

its rainin' men 419

its raining outside.. hence the title and why i had to come inside from reading :/ i found 2 vocab words in my book tho... which mean extra creditttt! thats lucky(:

so im just over 70 pages into this new book (Just One Look) and i was a little disturbed. in the like 2 chapter, it goes into detail how this creepy Asian guy stalks like 50 people at a time on internet dating sites and he attacked one and apparently if you shove your finger between a person 4th and 5th vertebrae you can physically paralyze the person completely but they dont die, now im not sure why they'd give anyone the much information that someone could really use as a weapon.. and then people like me share it on the internet. oops :/ ANYWAYS, so he puts his alive, conscious, paralyzed victim in the poor dude bathtub, naked.. and just made he sit there, for hours. man ,how scared would you be?!? id cry, of course. and i feel really bad for this guy, even tho apparently hes a creepy peeper, who spies on this older woman who lives behind him.. and the creepy part is she knows he does it and looks forward to it! but thats not really that relevant... but it just goes to show this book is.. diffrent.

this is also one of those books which some chapters are about one dude.. and then the next chapter like starts a whole new book about someone else! so iv been "introduced" to like 6 characters already.. and a few of them have become related in the story.. but i like being warned when your going to be changing the character in a different chapter! like iv read books where the chapter is named after the character so you know who its about.... not that im complaining or anything :D

and may i remind you i know all this juicy info (i honestly haven't even shared half of what iv read to you.. cause you have to read the book yourselves!) and im only about a 6th of the way into the book.. and it was a recommended book by my librarian! but its very well written.. alot more grown up text than some of the other books iv read. so far im really enjoying it.

.....you know, the past few hours i really should have been reading my government book for the test Thursday.. but who would choose that over this GRIPPING NOVEL! ha(:

sca-doosh 388

i finished the 2nd volume of the series SWEEP that iv been reading... but i cant find the third volume anywhere!! i have to put it on hold and wait like 2 weeks to get it.. and im going to go nuts! causee im not the type of person to read more than one book at once. and once i start a series i HAVE to finish it! but i cant go weeks without reading... so ill be reading single novels untill my hold comes in... not my first choice but i'll live.

if i havent mentioned it yet, the SWEEP series is about a teenager girl who realizes in high school that she a blood witch. theres alot references to the gods and godesses.. and im a christian. but i still think its really intence. the way the author discusses the experience she has with her magick (as they spell it), its really well written and very believable. it feels like the author herself is a real witch and does these things on a daily bacis. and of course, she has to have a love conflict. but she finds out that the guys she was with slept with her ex bestfriend. but he lied about it at first.. and it didnt like totally piss her off, just made her sad.. and im like WTF?! i would be livid! but the character (morgan) is nothing like me... but the bf (cal) ended up trying to kill her soooo they broke up anyways. ha(: i guess that not really funny. well the 2nd volume ended at the end of a big climax and im tempted to try and find the 3rd one on the internet and read it! but then it only gives you the first chapter or so and that cpuld possibly be even worse :/ i dont like waiting.. but in the mean time im reading "Just One Look" by Harlan Coben . it was recomended by my school librarian, who i happen to know from the past(: librarians are COOL! hahaha

i added titles to the list of books iv read... and iv read like 15 books over the summer (no joke) and i cant remember any of thier titles! OH I JUST REMEBERD SOME! ill blog about them later. :D (note to self, melody carlson)

dot.dot.dot. dash--dash--dash-- 64

my first blog.. iv been reading many many books over the summer. i always prefer a series, as i am now buried in the middle of the series "Sweep"; concists o 4 volumes; 3 books per volume.. and im addicted. i sit in class and think about how badly i wanna sit on my back porch and read for hours! obviously.. i love reading(: